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I am a lot of things, wife, sister, friend, and aunt but most of all I am a grieving mother of a lost baby girl taken too soon.  This blog is my way of venting and surviving.  I'm trying to find my way back to funny, sarcastic, and happy but it's quite a journey.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Something to think about

So yesterday something funny yet thought provoking happened on my way home from work (still filling in at my old job)

I'll start with a little back story.

I should start with I live in Boston.  I am a HORRIBLE driver.  Because of this I rarely drive anywhere that is not inside my comfort zone (2 miles of my house).  I have gotten worse since being pregnant.  I am overly paranoid therefore, HATE to drive. 

So to set the scene: It's 6pm in Boston.  There's traffic everywhere and people everywhere.  I never drive myself into work, but yesterday I had to.  So I had to fight the traffic getting home.  Well I'm driving down the street and approach a yellow light, I think I can make it.  Well, I couldn't so I stop.  Well, I stop a little over in a crosswalk and before I can reverse a car behind me is so close that I can no longer back up.  So I sit there waiting for the light to turn.  The pedestrians start to cross the street and walk around to the front of my car.  This women pushing her baby carriage, in front of my car, gets all of the people walking across the street to BOOOOOO me.  There's like 10 people this women gets to BOO me- in my car.  At first I'm embarrassed and feel bad that I blocked the cross walk.  Then the anger starts to set in.  Come on...Hasn't everyone done this at some point?? So I drive away. 

As I'm driving I start to think to myself that this women, who was walking in front of my car had a BABY in a CARRIAGE.  It was a baby, baby....Not a toddler.  Teeny Tiny Baby.  Walking IN FRONT of my car!!! Did this women stop to think that I could be some Psycho? I'm not, but she doesn't know me.  How does she know I wouldn't get out of the car? Press the gas? Start a fight with her in middle of the street? She didn't.  Today, You never know! Would it really have been worth it if I turned out to be a crazy person? It just made me think.  Then I started to think will I do something like that out of frustration some day? With Colin there?  Potentially not thinking about the WHAT IF's? Putting my baby in danger? Do I only think this way because I know what it's like to lose a baby? Am I super sensitive because I'm hormonal and pregnant? I mean, I pride myself on being a strong women.  I am a wise ass by nature. It's one of the things I like about myself.  I can totally see me doing something like this before becoming a mom, if I was alone and walking away thinking I'm funny.   But, I think when you have your baby with you that you have a responsibility to tread carefully and pay attention to your surroundings.  Because you just never know who the random person behind the wheel may be. 

 I know this is a pretty random post but I thought about it all last night and even today.  Am I crazy? It just baffled me. 

1 comment:

  1. No, you aren't crazy! That story is *so* Boston, and I hate driving in the city too! I dread it! I think you are spot on though - she should have just minded her own business and kept walking and ignored you. At least you stopped!!!